DaBabs

Dreams

I keep having dreams about mom. In Omaha, they were so vivid, I think I was even talking in my sleep and reaching out into the air (which is rare for me, that's not something I do).

My dream last night was more of a nightmare. I had a remote control for mom's car (her old car - the white Cadillac). She was in it, coming down Grover street and I started messing with the controls, causing her to crash into our neighbor's house.

I told Johnny and he said it's all about guilt. All I know is that I woke up absolutely exhausted.

I don't remember having dreams like this after Dad died. In fact, I very rarely had dreams about him. I wonder if it's because of all the guilt I feel for not being there sooner and the fact that you're just tied to your mom differently?

I keep wishing this was all a dream. I keep wanting to call her - and when I came home, I listened to an old message on our answering machine. Everything just happened so fast, I don't think I've quite processed everything yet.

posted by DaBabs @ 10:21 AM